


If There's Still A Chance, Then Take My Hand

by waterofthemoon



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Community: spn_30snapshots, F/M, Infidelity, Jossed, M/M, One Shot, Pre-Slash, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-25
Updated: 2010-02-25
Packaged: 2017-10-09 01:37:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/81575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waterofthemoon/pseuds/waterofthemoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Weddings bring out the honesty in people. The boys have a conversation after Jared runs out on his.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If There's Still A Chance, Then Take My Hand

**Author's Note:**

> So in a couple of days, Jared and Genevieve will (most likely) tie the knot and Joss this fic. And that's awesome! But it bit my ankle two days ago and said WRITE THIS NOW, and who am I to argue with that? Um, horrible angst, some emotional infidelity, but a tiny bit hopeful, I think. Written for the [**spn_30snapshots**](http://community.livejournal.com/spn_30snapshots/profile) prompt "truth" ([table](http://waterofthemoon.livejournal.com/380161.html)). Special thanks to [**unperfectwolf**](http://unperfectwolf.livejournal.com/profile), who betaed this and suggested the title song while on cold medication. ♥

"Pretty cliché of you, leaving her at the altar," Jensen says, his voice shaking. "Thought you had more class than that."

Jared looks into his eyes, deep and honest. "I couldn't do it. You were up there, watching me like you always do, and I just—couldn't." He slumps into a chair and fiddles with the buttons on his sleeve. "It's fucking permanent, man. Supposed to be, anyway. How do you know—" He breaks off, looks at Jensen again, like he's figuring something out. "How do you know when you meet that perfect person to spend all of eternity with?"

Jensen shakes his head. "Don't put this on me, Jared. I'm getting married, too, remember? I'm not going to just throw Danneel away because you're having cold feet."

"I didn't _throw her away_," Jared spits out. "I love Gen. Just not enough, I guess." He laughs bitterly. "I just—man, can I tell you something?"

"Anything, yeah, you know you can," Jensen says. He means it, even though he thinks that whatever Jared says next is going to make things incredibly awkward.

Jared lets out a breath. "Okay, so, I was trying to imagine the future, right? You know, the house in the suburbs, couple of kids maybe, old Sadie and old Harley ruling the place. All that crap we've talked about."

Jensen nods. They've had that conversation more than a few times, usually in the drunk-tired part of the night when all they want is a ride home and their warm beds. "Yeah, and?"

"I pictured it with Gen first, and that was fine, it was awesome. I couldn't fucking wait to marry her and set us and our kids up for life." Jared spreads his hands out in front of him like he's never seen them before. "The perfect life, right? But, man, then I started thinking about what it would be like with you."

"And what—why—" Jensen doesn't even know which question he's supposed to be asking now.

"I don't know, man! You were just _there_, like, invading my head. Only not really invading because I wanted you there." He reaches out and takes Jensen's hand, and Jensen lets him because he doesn't know what else to do. "I always want you there, Jensen. There's—there's no fucking comparison, trust me."

Jensen opens his mouth to protest, maybe to remind Jared about Danneel again, but what comes out, broken open, is, "You don't even like guys."

"But I like you," Jared says. "I know, that's such a line, but it's the god's honest truth, Jensen. I _like_ you. More than like you. Fuck." He slumps down and stares at his shoes, and Jensen gets up immediately, moves to sit next to him.

"I'm not gonna say that I've never—I mean, fuck, you're you, how could I not want that," Jensen starts. He has to get this right, and maybe he and Jared still won't be friends after it, but he likes to think they're stronger than that. "But you know why we can't do this. There's Danneel, and there's the show and our careers, and—"

"Jensen," Jared says. He sounds almost defeated. "I get it, okay? I know. It's the worst idea in the world, but I want it anyway." He shakes his head. "You're the one that's good at compartmentalizing, not me. Or maybe it's just you that gets all tangled up in my head. I don't fucking know."

Jensen starts to argue—he sucks at keeping things in their boxes, can't keep his feelings about Jared from spilling out over everything else he touches, and then he realizes what Jared means. "Oh," he says. "You—I don't—we're in a lot of fucking trouble, huh?"

Jared snorts. "Yeah, I guess we are." He picks at the fabric of his tux pants, pulling at a loose thread, and Jensen covers his hand to make him stop. It's a small thing, an insignificant thing, and yet it feels exactly like jumping off the swing set in elementary school, that moment of pure fear and exhilaration.

"We should get back," Jensen says after a moment, his heart thumping. "You've got a shit-ton of explaining to do."

"Yeah, I know." Jared doesn't move. If anything, he settles in closer. "You're probably the only person that doesn't hate me right now."

"It's gonna be a massacre," Jensen agrees. "Don't worry, though. I got your back." It comes out all wrong, too messy and honest, and he has to look away when Jared focuses that intense stare on him.

Jared clears his throat, then pushes himself up and offers Jensen his hand. "So, ready to go face the firing squad?"

"No," Jensen says. Fuck, Danneel is out there, and his family, and Jared's family, and anything he can tell them now will feel like lying. "Let's go."


End file.
